Just had an incredible weekend, 3 days celebrating my 10-Year graduation from business school with great friends, most of which I have not seen in a long time.
I was invited with a few alumni to speak at a panel and share insights with students about how to prepare for the future, from job-hunting to networking and how to better use their time at school. Interestingly we all had wildly different words of wisdom to share, and in some cases diametrically opposite opinions. After thinking of what happened I concluded that the secrets for a student's career do not exist, they lay in the future and each individual has to create and follow their own path. As we search for answers about what to do and the potential outcomes to our future it is easy to forget about the present, particularly in stressful situations such as a glioma diagnose. To quote Ralph Waldo Emerson, whose words are embossed in a wall at my business school, "do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail".
I was reading an interview with Peruvian writer Mario Vargas Llosa and found a quote that inspired me to write. After being asked how the Literature Nobel Prize change his life he said "I continue to do my job, now with a bit more difficulty because the pressure is greater. It is important to keep the illusions and the projects until the last moment to fight against time..."
The greatest philosophical challenges are always sitting in the future, "why are we here?", "what are we supposed to do?", "what is the path to enlightenment?". The reality is that both the past and the future do not exist, we are what we do in the present and therefore I would argue that with or without a glioma the future prospects of a glioma patient and a random walker are similar as they are both uncertain.
A friend of mine went through the painful and powerful process of following and supporting her son's cure from a neuroblastoma and she shared words from hew son's doctor that are worth sharing: "his chances of survival are 0% or 100%, what happened to other kids is completely irrelevant". Luckily for all that love them and for my inspiration he is 100% and is an incredible kid.
If you are diagnosed or go through any form of hardship stop worrying about the remote future and ask yourself how you might improve your life now, don't wait for tomorrow to live a plentiful life. I have changed very few habits after being diagnosed but the habits I changed have drastically affected the way I perceive the world, making me more thoughtful and purposeful. Below are to me the most important aspects of my life that I would recommend for someone under stress:
- Turn off the TV and read more books: what you see in the news is probably irrelevant and has no way to impact your life in the future. We cannot react to the infinite pieces of news that we are bombarded with everyday, so pick an interest and go deep.
- Exercise: use your body as a means of transportation, we were born to run and as such need to remain active to maintain our sanity. It is no accident that the brain releases stamina when we run, the body likes it and recognizes its benefit.
- Think: with the information you accumulate while reading and the lonely time you will get exercising you will have time to process the information and find a way to translate it into your purpose.
- Eat well: my new interpretation of "eat well", which used to be "I only eat things that move", is now "eat as many colors as you can". Minerals in the soil are reflected in the colors of food, so the bigger variety of colors you get (preferably naturally colored) the better you will feel.
- Always remember the 3Fs: family, friends and fun. Don't fall in the trap that work, family, friends and personal time are at odds. We all have busy lives but need to find time for all these pillars, If you like your work, exercise and read you can consider the fun part taken care of. Family and friends will always be there for you when you need them and you should always be available for them when they need you. Being with family and friends is always fun so once again you closed the loop!
When disaster strikes don't worry about the future, look at where you are and focus on your immediate next step to progress, happiness and do what you think is best thing for that moment, and never forget that most likely you will have to live with the consequences of your action, so treat the present and live responsibly.
So much for saying that everyone should find their path to close with a laundry list of things to do to achieve happyness. I hope you build your list and eventually share it with others, I am sure my list will match someone else's list and this might be you.
