The last few weeks have been very interesting. I've been anxiously waiting to be well enough to safely get back to work, so I was home for most of the time. As my energy level got back to normal with no traditional outlet to release it (work, exercising etc.) I spent most of the time reconnecting with old friends through email or Facebook, playing with my kids, trying to stay tunned with what was happening at work remotely, reading and eating. Interestingly a friend from Mexico posted a very cool phrase that really applies to this period: es mejor perder tiempo con los amigos que perder los amigos con el tiempo (better to waste time with friends than lose friends with time).
On the week of Jan 9, the last week preceeding chemo, I organized a Happy Hour with my College friends and made a surprise visit to the place I worked at in Brazil before I moved to the US. I joke that I never felt like I left, so I always come back unnanounced to their delight.
On Jan 16 I started chemo and had a wonderful relationship with it. No side effects, so I felt much better about getting back to work and normal life. To celebrate I spent the weekend at the beach with great friends. The better I felt the more motivated I felt to get back with normal life.
On Jan 19 I attended my neurologist's office and he recommended that to ensure my safe return to work I should have a few extra exams. Among them I was literally induced to have seizures through hyper-ventilation and what I call "Pokemon Lights", a series of blinking lights that try to induce seizures to ensure that my anti-seizure medicine is working appropriately and to verify if I am having seizures that might not be noticeable. Since I switched my anti-seizure medication to Keppra, which is not widely known in Brazil yet, these precautions were important. Sometimes these seizures can have psychological side effects, but as the people who know me can attest I am probably as good as it gets.
On the week of Jan 23 I attended 2 birthday parties and gave a motivational speech at my dad's office, something unthinkable before my glioma. My dad wrote a few articles titled "Every Executive has a Journey in the Desert". My dad is an Outplacement Executive and after years working with people that go through their journeys in the desert, he identified key periods that are particulalry difficult in their lives: getting fired after a successful career, experiencing the death of a loved one, financial ruin, betrayal from business partners, divorce and finally health problems, and this is where I came in, I was the subject of his article.
I shared my experience dealing with my unexpected journey in the desert and the importance of always facing the situation bravely, optimistically and always acting to overcome adversity. In my case I shared the importance of the family, friends, of doing what you love. I spoke for about 2 hours and brought-up things that even my dad had forgotten, such as when I used to work with him as an office-boy when I was 13. It was a great dry-run to see if I can still speak in public. I just watched the video and it was pretty good, I am ready to get back to work.
On January 26 I was back to my neurologist to discuss the results of my exams and they were good! I was cleared to get back to work, so I was back the next day!
Yesterday I attended a wedding from a very dear friend. To give you an idea of the kind of friend he is, he ordered non-alcoholic beer just for me at the wedding party. It was so great to see the joy in his and his wife's face, and to reconnect with his family, to which I was pretty close during High-School.
I ran into friends I hadn't seen for a long time, reinforcing a declaration I got from a great friend right before my surgery. I kept joking that if I forgot who they were I hoped that I still liked them after surgery once I was reintroduced to them. He wrote in the Photo Album Livia prepared with my friends right before my surgery that I should not worry about forgetting them because they lived in my heart, not in my brain. And nothing was closer to reality, yesterday was another demonstration that my friends have always lived in my heart, not in my brain.
The last piece of news is that I finally might close an apartment deal this week, allowing me to live for the first time in my life at a place that is walking distance from work. Wish me luck, this will give me a couple hours to get back with my exercise routine, writting this blog and clearing my mind from the stress of daily traffic!
Tomorrow my kids start school and I am going to work. Life is back to normal!
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
First Chemo Day - Allez Klar!
Thank you! Your prayers worked!
I cannot believe this but just like my oncologist predicted I am reacting very well to my chemo medicine, Temodal. I had a full meal after taking it, had a totally normal night of sleep and woke-up for a big breakfast, which now is a bit healthier than my pre-glioma breakfast. My old breakfast consisted of a cereal bar and chocolate milk. Now I have a slightly different breakfast, with a Granola/Yogurt combo, coffee and a banana. Today Livia added a fruit smoothy to the mix, with a full Papaya (including the seeds), apple, banana and orange (and probably another mistery fruit...). I have to confess that I am worried a Papaya tree might grow inside me, but I suppose my digestion will take care of that! This is a radical shift from my previous life behavior, when I would joke I didn't eat things that didn't walk, such as fruit and vegetables.
Thank you so much for all your notes, prayers, positive thoughts and support. Once again you are proving that friends are always the best medicine, you cured my anxiety and prepared me for a smooth start to chemo. I am doing great, 3 more days of chemo to go to finish my first cycle, but the first day could not have gone better, assuming that the Temodal is already working its magic on my remaining tumor.
God bless you all, I hope that as you look at me you realize, just like I did, that God is always there for you when you need him. Your collective love and support have all been a proof of God's love, so thank you for being here at this very important moment.
Love you!
I cannot believe this but just like my oncologist predicted I am reacting very well to my chemo medicine, Temodal. I had a full meal after taking it, had a totally normal night of sleep and woke-up for a big breakfast, which now is a bit healthier than my pre-glioma breakfast. My old breakfast consisted of a cereal bar and chocolate milk. Now I have a slightly different breakfast, with a Granola/Yogurt combo, coffee and a banana. Today Livia added a fruit smoothy to the mix, with a full Papaya (including the seeds), apple, banana and orange (and probably another mistery fruit...). I have to confess that I am worried a Papaya tree might grow inside me, but I suppose my digestion will take care of that! This is a radical shift from my previous life behavior, when I would joke I didn't eat things that didn't walk, such as fruit and vegetables.
Thank you so much for all your notes, prayers, positive thoughts and support. Once again you are proving that friends are always the best medicine, you cured my anxiety and prepared me for a smooth start to chemo. I am doing great, 3 more days of chemo to go to finish my first cycle, but the first day could not have gone better, assuming that the Temodal is already working its magic on my remaining tumor.
God bless you all, I hope that as you look at me you realize, just like I did, that God is always there for you when you need him. Your collective love and support have all been a proof of God's love, so thank you for being here at this very important moment.
Love you!
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Last Pre-Chemo Day
Today is my last day before chemo and I am a bit anxious. Nonetheless I am fully alive, and might as well enjoy! Livia got me out of the house to workout today and I biked in those sitting stationary bikes for 15 minutes and was able to sweat a bit. I could not believe it but I am still able to keep a 100rpm cadence without struggling. Then I lifted some weights, something I never do, light but enough to trigger my endorphins. I am now focused in gaining some muscle mass to build reserves, in case I need it. Today I weighed myself and am happy to report that I am right back to my pre-surgery weight, and can fully open my jaw to eat, the pain in my head is almost gone!
You have been awesome praying for me, keeping me positive and giving me the strength to beat this tumor. As a new battle begins please say a prayer for me, wish me luck and envision me climbing the Pyrinees on my way from Montpelier, France, to Fatima, Portugal. There is more to this than a simple bike ride, but we will get there at the right time, and you will be part of it. Since seeing the snow covered mountains from the distance I keep dreaming of dipping my healed head into the snow of the Pyrinees. As crazy as it sounds, I think I miss snow...
I wish you could all see how well I am now, give me a big smile and receive a big hug in exchange! Since so many of you are far away, just envision it and feel it. It is real and tight. Thanks for hanging with me, you are the best!
You have been awesome praying for me, keeping me positive and giving me the strength to beat this tumor. As a new battle begins please say a prayer for me, wish me luck and envision me climbing the Pyrinees on my way from Montpelier, France, to Fatima, Portugal. There is more to this than a simple bike ride, but we will get there at the right time, and you will be part of it. Since seeing the snow covered mountains from the distance I keep dreaming of dipping my healed head into the snow of the Pyrinees. As crazy as it sounds, I think I miss snow...
I wish you could all see how well I am now, give me a big smile and receive a big hug in exchange! Since so many of you are far away, just envision it and feel it. It is real and tight. Thanks for hanging with me, you are the best!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Life Goes On!
This week has been pretty amazing so far!
Started with an onchologist visit, and I was able to negotiate my chemo start date: Monday, Jan 16 2012!
I hope that I can navigate (or even better, negate) any side-effects from the therapy, such as nausea or hair loss, and maximize the benefits, eliminating completely my tumor. Keep the prayers and positive thoughts coming. Believe me, they work, they make me feel like God is always on my side, and He trully is, keeping me strong and positive.
Some work related friends organized a lunch for me yesterday and it was so energizing! It is amazing to experience the genuine happyness coming from people that see me for the first time after surgery and see how well I am.
Following lunch I spent the afternoon with another work related friend, a cancer survivor but most importantly an amazing individual who epithomized a phrase I learned recently: we don't make new friends, we simply recognize them. This person, who I met in October of last year, was a guy I felt I've been friends with since childhood. And I didn't even know he was a cancer survivor at first. Now we openly share stories and deeply care for each other.
I finally closed the day at a Happy Hour with several College classmates, some of who I haven't seen for years as I had been in the U.S. for the last 10 years. I obviosly gave them an earful for not getting together in my absense. I told them that we should not need someone to have a brain tumor to get together. Life is busy, we all have families and jobs to care for, but letting friends behind for those reasons are false dicotomies, terrible and unexcusable mistakes! Life is too short, and we need to have constant moments of celebration to relive the good old days and to create the great new days of the future. This applies to everyone!
Today I spent the day at the park with my girls and my mom (shouldn't she be part of my girls list?). They rode bikes while I tracked along walking. Isabel is almost riding without training wheels, I can't wait to see her riding without training wheels! After biking we had some ice cream and came back home.
I've been trying to stay as active as possible, socially, physically and mentally.
I just downloaded the biography of Henry John Heinz into my Kindle, and what a great read! Pittsburgh and its citizens fascinate me, I've read about Andrew Carnegie, Henry Frick, Mellon and Westinghouse, but of all the amazing people that changed the world from Pittsburgh, Mr. Heinz is definitelly the best! I am really proud to be part of his legacy and to be an honorary Pittsburgher.
Speaking of honorary citizenships, I've been claiming French citizenship since my rebirth on Dec 13-2011 in Montpellier, Framce. Yesterday a friend gave me a music box that plays the Marseillaise, what a thoughtful present! I think that the only missing component now is my French soccer jersey to cheer Vive le France during the World Cup in Brazil! It is possible (and great) to have 3 nationalities in your heart! I will be wearing Brazil, U.S. and France next year, may the best one win!
The key take-aways I want you to take from this post are:
- Everything is possible when you are surrounded by people that love you and people you love
- Life is too short so enjoy every second of it as time is the most precious resource we all have
- Treasure your friends from all your walks of life - they will never let you down
- Immediatelly send an email, tweet, facebook message or call a friend that you haven't seen in a while but that you think about often and schedule a dinner with him/her - the group may get bigger as you talk about it but do it right now. Trust me, you will not regret it!
Started with an onchologist visit, and I was able to negotiate my chemo start date: Monday, Jan 16 2012!
I hope that I can navigate (or even better, negate) any side-effects from the therapy, such as nausea or hair loss, and maximize the benefits, eliminating completely my tumor. Keep the prayers and positive thoughts coming. Believe me, they work, they make me feel like God is always on my side, and He trully is, keeping me strong and positive.
Some work related friends organized a lunch for me yesterday and it was so energizing! It is amazing to experience the genuine happyness coming from people that see me for the first time after surgery and see how well I am.
Following lunch I spent the afternoon with another work related friend, a cancer survivor but most importantly an amazing individual who epithomized a phrase I learned recently: we don't make new friends, we simply recognize them. This person, who I met in October of last year, was a guy I felt I've been friends with since childhood. And I didn't even know he was a cancer survivor at first. Now we openly share stories and deeply care for each other.
I finally closed the day at a Happy Hour with several College classmates, some of who I haven't seen for years as I had been in the U.S. for the last 10 years. I obviosly gave them an earful for not getting together in my absense. I told them that we should not need someone to have a brain tumor to get together. Life is busy, we all have families and jobs to care for, but letting friends behind for those reasons are false dicotomies, terrible and unexcusable mistakes! Life is too short, and we need to have constant moments of celebration to relive the good old days and to create the great new days of the future. This applies to everyone!
Today I spent the day at the park with my girls and my mom (shouldn't she be part of my girls list?). They rode bikes while I tracked along walking. Isabel is almost riding without training wheels, I can't wait to see her riding without training wheels! After biking we had some ice cream and came back home.
I've been trying to stay as active as possible, socially, physically and mentally.
I just downloaded the biography of Henry John Heinz into my Kindle, and what a great read! Pittsburgh and its citizens fascinate me, I've read about Andrew Carnegie, Henry Frick, Mellon and Westinghouse, but of all the amazing people that changed the world from Pittsburgh, Mr. Heinz is definitelly the best! I am really proud to be part of his legacy and to be an honorary Pittsburgher.
Speaking of honorary citizenships, I've been claiming French citizenship since my rebirth on Dec 13-2011 in Montpellier, Framce. Yesterday a friend gave me a music box that plays the Marseillaise, what a thoughtful present! I think that the only missing component now is my French soccer jersey to cheer Vive le France during the World Cup in Brazil! It is possible (and great) to have 3 nationalities in your heart! I will be wearing Brazil, U.S. and France next year, may the best one win!
The key take-aways I want you to take from this post are:
- Everything is possible when you are surrounded by people that love you and people you love
- Life is too short so enjoy every second of it as time is the most precious resource we all have
- Treasure your friends from all your walks of life - they will never let you down
- Immediatelly send an email, tweet, facebook message or call a friend that you haven't seen in a while but that you think about often and schedule a dinner with him/her - the group may get bigger as you talk about it but do it right now. Trust me, you will not regret it!
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Met my Onchologist - Here Comes Chemo
Yesterday, Jan 4, was a very special day. I met some friends from high school for lunch, some of which I had not seen since we graduated in 1991. It was so fun to relive our teenage days, talk about the different paths we all took in life, and to feel that the last time we were together was only a few weeks ago. Our bonds were so strong, but once broken they didn't't take much to regenerate. It was a very special and memorable day, one of those that we should all have at least once a month.
The restaurant was about 5K away from Livia's parents house, where I was going next, so I decided to walk back. It was really warm, but I walked across Parque Ibirapuera and got home safe, sound and in time to leave to my first onchologist appointment. Things could not have gone better.
The chemistry between us was great, we openly discussed everything I've been through so far. To my delight he shared that I will not need radiotherapy! Huge news, as sometimes radiotherapy can affect the healthy tissue in the brain. He shared that even if I needed it I should not be scared, the side effects are debatable.
My adjuvant treatment will consist, as expected, of 7-12 cycles of Temodal, a chemotherapy drug that in most cases the body can handle fairly well, with moderate but manageable side effects. Most likely I will be able to live a completely normal life during chemo!
One cycle for me will consist of 4 Temodal pills per day taken for 5 days, and 3 weeks resting (no pills). He shared cases of patients that simply have no side effects, particulalry younger ones (and yes, I am medically young!) making it sound almost like Tylenol. I hope that I am in this group, but regardless the most important thing is to eliminate all the left-over tumor from my brain, and I am ready to do whatever it takes.
Please keep the prayers and positive thoughts and messages coming. I can't tell you how important these have been throughout my journey, and for that I will continue to share the outcome of everything that happens to me and what's to come.
You have all been part of this with me. thanks for everything. This is not my battle anymore, this is ours, and we are winning. I am feeling better day after day, my stitches are nearly gone, so my headache is nearly gone, and I am almost able to sleep on my right side again, which is great. We still have a bit to do, but with the magic formula for success - optimism, perseverance and a constant smile on our faces - we will win.
HAPPY 2012!
Patrick
The restaurant was about 5K away from Livia's parents house, where I was going next, so I decided to walk back. It was really warm, but I walked across Parque Ibirapuera and got home safe, sound and in time to leave to my first onchologist appointment. Things could not have gone better.
The chemistry between us was great, we openly discussed everything I've been through so far. To my delight he shared that I will not need radiotherapy! Huge news, as sometimes radiotherapy can affect the healthy tissue in the brain. He shared that even if I needed it I should not be scared, the side effects are debatable.
My adjuvant treatment will consist, as expected, of 7-12 cycles of Temodal, a chemotherapy drug that in most cases the body can handle fairly well, with moderate but manageable side effects. Most likely I will be able to live a completely normal life during chemo!
One cycle for me will consist of 4 Temodal pills per day taken for 5 days, and 3 weeks resting (no pills). He shared cases of patients that simply have no side effects, particulalry younger ones (and yes, I am medically young!) making it sound almost like Tylenol. I hope that I am in this group, but regardless the most important thing is to eliminate all the left-over tumor from my brain, and I am ready to do whatever it takes.
Please keep the prayers and positive thoughts and messages coming. I can't tell you how important these have been throughout my journey, and for that I will continue to share the outcome of everything that happens to me and what's to come.
You have all been part of this with me. thanks for everything. This is not my battle anymore, this is ours, and we are winning. I am feeling better day after day, my stitches are nearly gone, so my headache is nearly gone, and I am almost able to sleep on my right side again, which is great. We still have a bit to do, but with the magic formula for success - optimism, perseverance and a constant smile on our faces - we will win.
HAPPY 2012!
Patrick
Monday, January 2, 2012
Back with Life, Great Start to 2012!
First of all, Happy 2012 to all of you! After 10 years in the US it was great to be in Brazil to witness the energy devoted to celebrate the beginning of a new year. And it started well.
On Saturday (Dec 31) I woke-up with a ton of energy, I felt like I could run a Marathon! Although tempted to do just that, I followed my Doctor's advice and went downstairs for a walk, right around 3PM, loaded with all the songs I used to listen to during my Triathlon training days, and the company of my daughter Dotsy, my sister Tricia and my little niece Lully. I had sneakers but no socks on and my feet started to bother me. I took them off and, just like my sister Tricia, started to walk barefoot. I never did this before and it felt quite good. Isadora got tired and after 20 minutes went back home. Tricia hung in there for a while, until Lully joined the tired club and fell asleep on Tricia's lap, who then also went back home.. I was then on my own.
By the time I hit 2K the song "What Can You Do" (from a punk band called "Bad Religion" that I really liked in College) kicked in. For some reason every time I did my training runs along the Mon River in Pittsburgh at 6AM during the week, this song would be the first one in my Shuffle iPod, and when it started playing I could not resist and ran a few yards. I could see myself in those dark and cold mornings picking up the pace, and that really made me feel great. Then reason hit and made me go back to walking.
When I hit 5K it started raining. Instead of stopping I went to the gym and hit the treadmill, which is definitely not made for barefoot walking. I really wanted to hit 10K, to the dismay of everyone that cares about me. By the time I hit 8K, Livia came to the rescue and made me stop. I guess I am not supposed to walk that much, but this walk already helped me beyond my imagination. Although I got yelled at by all my family members and friends when I told this story ("take it easy Patrick, you are still recovering!"), I had a nagging pain on my right foot since May, when I went out for a 20K pre-Eagleman training run. Turns out that my long barefoot walk cured my pain and I woke up on Jan 1 painless. In addition my stitches started falling, and if feels like that once a stitch falls the pain associated with that area goes away. What a great start for the year.
Don't worry about me going beyond my body's limit during this recovery period, I have the best person right by me 24 hours. Livia has been the best companion I could have ever wished for since we started dating, and she will continue to make sure that I don't do anything silly until I am 110%. I am so blessed to have her by my side, and despite me driving her crazy with a fairly high frequency she continues to be a trooper and stand by me, calming and protecting me. I am blessed.
Wish you all loads of Peace and Smiles in 2012. I hope my ridiculous new pair of glasses makes you smile!
Like I explained to my Doctor before he got worried that I completely lost my sense of aesthetics or common sense there is a reason for this. These are the prescription glasses I used to wear for biking, and they are way bigger than my head, but they were good to wear around helmet straps, winter face masks or both. Turns out that with that they don't press my head or stitches, so I can painlessly wear glasses. In addition they get darker w/ light (Transitions Lenses), so I don't squint when I change lights. Well, meet the new me, function first, form second!
Wish you all the best in 2012 and thank you very very much for all the really nice, encouraging notes you've been sending me. You are a huge source of energy to me and bring me the most peace of mind I have ever had in my life. God Bless You All!
On Saturday (Dec 31) I woke-up with a ton of energy, I felt like I could run a Marathon! Although tempted to do just that, I followed my Doctor's advice and went downstairs for a walk, right around 3PM, loaded with all the songs I used to listen to during my Triathlon training days, and the company of my daughter Dotsy, my sister Tricia and my little niece Lully. I had sneakers but no socks on and my feet started to bother me. I took them off and, just like my sister Tricia, started to walk barefoot. I never did this before and it felt quite good. Isadora got tired and after 20 minutes went back home. Tricia hung in there for a while, until Lully joined the tired club and fell asleep on Tricia's lap, who then also went back home.. I was then on my own.
By the time I hit 2K the song "What Can You Do" (from a punk band called "Bad Religion" that I really liked in College) kicked in. For some reason every time I did my training runs along the Mon River in Pittsburgh at 6AM during the week, this song would be the first one in my Shuffle iPod, and when it started playing I could not resist and ran a few yards. I could see myself in those dark and cold mornings picking up the pace, and that really made me feel great. Then reason hit and made me go back to walking.
When I hit 5K it started raining. Instead of stopping I went to the gym and hit the treadmill, which is definitely not made for barefoot walking. I really wanted to hit 10K, to the dismay of everyone that cares about me. By the time I hit 8K, Livia came to the rescue and made me stop. I guess I am not supposed to walk that much, but this walk already helped me beyond my imagination. Although I got yelled at by all my family members and friends when I told this story ("take it easy Patrick, you are still recovering!"), I had a nagging pain on my right foot since May, when I went out for a 20K pre-Eagleman training run. Turns out that my long barefoot walk cured my pain and I woke up on Jan 1 painless. In addition my stitches started falling, and if feels like that once a stitch falls the pain associated with that area goes away. What a great start for the year.
Don't worry about me going beyond my body's limit during this recovery period, I have the best person right by me 24 hours. Livia has been the best companion I could have ever wished for since we started dating, and she will continue to make sure that I don't do anything silly until I am 110%. I am so blessed to have her by my side, and despite me driving her crazy with a fairly high frequency she continues to be a trooper and stand by me, calming and protecting me. I am blessed.
Wish you all loads of Peace and Smiles in 2012. I hope my ridiculous new pair of glasses makes you smile!
Like I explained to my Doctor before he got worried that I completely lost my sense of aesthetics or common sense there is a reason for this. These are the prescription glasses I used to wear for biking, and they are way bigger than my head, but they were good to wear around helmet straps, winter face masks or both. Turns out that with that they don't press my head or stitches, so I can painlessly wear glasses. In addition they get darker w/ light (Transitions Lenses), so I don't squint when I change lights. Well, meet the new me, function first, form second!
Wish you all the best in 2012 and thank you very very much for all the really nice, encouraging notes you've been sending me. You are a huge source of energy to me and bring me the most peace of mind I have ever had in my life. God Bless You All!
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