What a Journey!
5 years after my surgery I am still here, healthier and wiser that I ever thought I could be following my diagnose.
From the anxiety of a brain surgery and the questions that came with it - will I be able to walk? Will my memory be OK? Will my cognitive skills be the same? - to the realization that so many people are going through similar or worse situations and continue to fight through them, I could not feel more inspired and stronger than I am today.
Today I feel like the most blessed person on Earth, I thank God every night for the last 5 years, God always teaches me something new. From the day I realized He conceded me a new day after my diagnose, to everything that happened in between I could not be more grateful.
Being diagnosed with glioma enabled me to see the best in people and realize what amazing family and friends I have. As crazy as it sounds a cancer diagnose is like going to your own funeral. You get to see who suffers with you and your tragedy. You get to see first hand how much you are loved by family and friends, and nothing can describe the feeling of being so overwhelmingly loved and supported. At the same time it was an amazing way to experience first hand the magic of Medicine and the evolution of science. At every step of my treatment only a few years had passed between the inception of my treatment options to me leveraging them, from the awaken craniotomy to the use of PCV to treat gliomas, and the proton-beam radiation treatment.
Today I was listening to the radio when Joe Biden came up and made an emotional speech about the Cancer Moon Shot. Brain tumors are very close to him as he lost his son Beau Biden to brain tumor. Joe very accurately depicted how cancer makes our time horizon get shorter. He talked about the grandparents that only ask for 2 months of life to see their grandkids be born.
From the day I accepted my diagnose to today I only ask for one more day, but I do it every day, and it seems to be working. 5 years after my surgery I have been luckier than 51% of glioma patients my age, and that number is already much higher than when I was diagnosed. In reality statistics don't matter, my and your chances are 0% or 100%, and so far I've been at 100%!
So what are the most important things through my journey? Below is my list:
Family: From the scary call following my seizure to the brain tumor diagnose, my family has always been there with me. The support, compassion and unconditional love from family is a huge blessing. With 14 aunts and uncles, 30+ cousins, a loving wife and amazing in-laws I always felt supported. And my kids, who provide the motivation I need to keep fighting - the thought of not being around for them was and continues to be my number one reason to fight for my life.
Friends: I have absolutely no doubt I've amassed the best friends in the world! From my College Reunion turned send-off trip to France preceding my surgery, to my work friends who supported me unconditionally, prayed and cheered every victory with me I will always be grateful. After hearing so many stories like mine I realized how privileged I am for the support I got from friends of all corners of life. I realized how important it is to choose the right people to come into your life.
Fellow Survivors: I could not have done it without them, they provided the most important thing I could ask for - hope. If all these people survived cancer, in all different forms, why can't I?
Doctors: They are just special people! I continue to be amazed with the stamina, intellectual ability, emotional stability and dexterity it takes to be a doctor. How could so much happen to my brain and I am still here to write the story? I can only thank doctors for going through so much to help people like me. As busy as they always are (not enough doctors for the number of sick people out there) my doctors continue to amaze me with their responsiveness, transparency, sense of urgency and patience.
It is very hard to capture in a few lines what happened over the last five years, but I am so grateful to the doctors that enabled me to be here to write this.
Intellectual Activity: Following my surgery I tried to keep my brain as rested and active as possible. When I got tired, particularly in the 2 weeks following the surgery, I slept a lot. And for the first year I always tried to sleep early to let my brain heal. But when I was idle I always had a book in my hand, I do not recall reading so much as I did during the two years following my surgery, and that was a great choice. During my radiation treatment I also stimulated my analytical skills studying the stock market. My advice is to pick something you like and go deep, especially if you are out of work recovering - much better than sitting on a couch and watching TV.
Physical Activity: As early as possible I tried to exercise. One month after my first surgery I was desperate to run but my skull was still not fully scared, so I ran barefoot thinking that before my head got hurt my feet would be bleeding. It worked! In addition I was able to bike, run and swim through my chemo treatments, except during the last cycle of PCV treatment, when I got nauseated biking.
Work: As soon as I was able to return to work I did, it was very important for me to keep a sense of normality during my treatment. In fact I even worked with a needle in my arm during my vincristine chemo sessions to ensure that this damn thing did not disrupt any aspect of my life.
Looking back the best thing I was able to do during the last 5 years was not to let this thing bring me down. If I had to write a list of the most important things in my life before glioma I would probably come up with the same exact list, excluding the doctors and fellow survivors, but given the circumstances I am happy to bring them into my list.
If I knew then what I know now the one thing I would not have done is agonize about the future. That made the first 6 months of the last 5 years the most agonizing period of my life. With this I leave you with the Life Thread, a really nice story about this simple concept, because yesterday is the past, tomorrow is the future and today is a gift, that is why it's called the present.
