Yesterday I visited my onchologist and received one great news after another. He shared that a number of patients are seeing similar recoveries to mine, temozolamide seems to work wonders around gliomas and progresively more patients are cured with little side effects for some lucky people like me - no hair loss, no blood changes and no nausea (except for when I felt adventurous and tried chemo without anti-nausea medication).
We decided to extend my chemo cycles for another 6 months in case I still have tumor cells that are not visible in the MRIs, which I now have every 3 months (next one on March 28th). He also shared that my theory around exercising may be right (check out www.wecanthinkwithglioma.blogspot.com), it looks like exercising not only improves outcomes for cancer patients but it also helps prevent cancer and tumors. I was excited to get another 6 months of doping - I feel much stronger on the bike when I am on chemo. UCI, watch out for athletes on temozolamide, Rio here I come!
This weekend was very special, my friend's son had his 19th birthday party and his daughter just got a great job after graduating from College. Many people go through this cycle and I can only imagine how proud they are when it happens, but my friend had a stomach cancer years ago when his kids were around the same age as mine. When I was diagnosed one of the things I wished the most was to live to watch my girls graduate from College, and regardless of my tumor status I have no guarantees I will likve to see that. Yet we all live as if these are sure things and plan our lives as if everything would go according to plan. Watching the happiness in my friend's expressions and Facebook posts was incredible, but when I realized how much more special a moment like this is when we stare at death from so close all of a sudden every moment feels deeper, longer and stonger. I was living his happiness through my normal life, and once again I felt a lot more joy from watching what may be a trivial moment to a by-stander like me.
One of the best lessons I learned from this experience is that regardless of our plans, actions and results nothing will go according to plan. Life is about enjoying the journey, not about the destination or result. When a great friend of mine lost his life to cancer his last words to me were "what a journey". I vividly remember his skiny smilly face summarizing life in this brilliant phrase and while I have always lived as if there was no tomorrow I never really believed that no tomorrow was an option. Being aware that life is finite, at least in our current state, made me focus more than ever on the present and I feel happier than ever. Losing my fear set me free, and I invite you to live without fear. No matter what life is great, the world is full of things to do, look around and you will not find it hard to see something to do to make the world better, from giving a smile to a stratnger to walking a lost soul to his destination. I have oddly a few times walked with people in the street who ask me for directions and I just reply "walk with me!".
So many times I looked down and kept walking when strangers approached me for something, from beggers to lost people looking for direction, Since my experience I have totally changed my attitude, I have developed a profound curiosity for what drives people. Understanding and more importantly respecting everyone's driver and perspective made me better, and as crazy as it might sound I would not change my life for anything in the world, and this is the best testament for how I lived, for the great family I have and for the great friends I made, thank you all who have prayed for me. Whomever your God is keep praying, He is on our side! We all have our journeys through the desert but we should never quit walking, life is about turning challenges into adventures, if you can do this at any time you will have a great life, no matter how long it lasts or what happens along the journey.
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