Christmas Miracle

Interesting that the best Christmas of my life followed a brain surgery to fight a tumor and a tough but inspiring year. I would have never guessed, even in my wildest dream, that I could take 75cc of brain tissue (95% of the tumor!) and 11 days later hop on a plane, with my physical and intellectual abilities intact, and show up to surprise my daughters dressed up as Santa Claus for a surprise appearence on the night of Dec 24th.

I never felt so blessed in my life. The peace that seeing my girls gave me was incredible, they are an endless source of peace, energy and inspiration.
Speaking of energy, today was the first time I got up since my surgery feeling like I wanted to do everything (hence the blog update), I had a ton of energy. I wanted to run the 10 miles between my in-laws house and my parents house, but my doctors yesterday were quick to slow me down regarding physical activity as my brain is still recuperating from the surgery. I will slowly get there. But the source of all this energy came from a single thought when I got up. A turning point after I was diagnosed with my tumor was when I woke-up one day and thanked God for being alive. I might not have been imortal as I originally felt, but I was still alive.
For the last 17 days getting out of bed has been a struggle. I am not sure if due to the pain in my head from the surgery, but I have not been sleeping very well, I have not been waking up fully rested. Today I opened my eyes and thought "hurry-up, the clock is ticking, enjoy life while you have it!". What's so wild about this thought is that it applies to every one of us, but it gave me the boost I needed to feel like I am not in recovery mode, I am in life mode and will live intensely until the end of my tenure on Earth. I invite you to do the same.
I shared a few notes with a friend who highlighted the number of bad things that happened in 2011 to so many dear friends (I suppose my brain tumor could go in this list). The bad things put the good ones in perspective. May all of us have the presence of spirit to recognize the number of great things that happen everyday around us, and if great things are not happening may all of us be an endless source of joy, inspiration, positive energy and love to help us advance life, happiness and the power of the Human Spirit. I hope we can all face adversity with a big smile and show the world that life is what we make out of it, and nothing will slow us down.
May all of us have a great 2012 with plenty of health, peace, love, accomplishments and reasons to celebrate.
God bless you,
Patrick

Round 2

Yesterday I met my neuro-onchologist, introduced to me by my neuro-surgeon, the man that continues to assemble the amazing team taking care of me. I immediately found myself at ease while talking to her, as she patiently walked Livia and I through what my next steps might look like. I've been blessed to be able to be treated by an amazing, world-class medical team. Interestingly the challenges of neuro-onchology are similar to the challenges of childhood cancer. Due to their much lower incidence these types of tumors receive significantly less tumor specific research. They tend to benefit from drugs developed to fight other types of tumors or cancers with higher incidences. This might lower the effectiveness of the treatment, but I am still sure I will win. Like I learned with my friend and hero Max, the most important pillars to help overcome the limitations of Human Knowlegde are to be blessed with amazing families, friends and doctors. My next step is to go through 6 to 12 rounds of chemotherapy with Temodal, and depending on the results possibly radiotherapy. Nothing to be scared of, I am mentally ready, just like I was for surgery, and will thrive. Thank you all for your prayers and positive thoughts, I am 100% sure they made all the difference. Love you all.

Tour of Montpellier

Milestone: 21-12-2011  Went to a restaurant for the first time since surgery.


Finally a little sense of normalcy back.  Took the tram, visited the city (Antigone) and closed the afternoon eating a really nice plate of duck for lunch.  It was great to walk for over a mile, get out of bed and forget about my headache.  Having a saw cut through your skull hurts!  I am getting better! Can't wait to head a soccer ball! (This would be very bad today.  I can live without it.)  My energy is improving and I will be back to normal life quickly.  This is my hope.  My girls need me up and running.  This might take a while but I'll get there!

(from Patrick's own handwriting)

First Post Surgery Update

Milestones 

- Dec 13-11: Resected 95% of my glioma - Thank God and Prof. Duffau's #1 team

Today is Dec 21st and I finally feel in good shape, in good spirits and energized to recap my surgery.

I entered the surgery room very alert and knowing exactly how Prof. Duffau's team could use my help. I went in with my mind set to show all my skills as the team resected my brain. My mission was to highlight any neurological deficits while the brain was stimulated. The first involuntary reaction I had that indicated a non-touch zone after electrode stimulation was a short stretching of a few words, i.e. "dddddddddog". I joked that I sounded like a DJ. To help I also counted in 5 languages while I moved my left side limbs (hand and foot) and the team was able to preserve the healthy and functional part of my brain. They were able to remove a considerable portion of the tumor but there was still a small piece left. The surgery was very delicate and that was why I wanted to be aware to anticipate potential deficits with the medical team. A small portion of the tumor was very close to a stream of motor nerves that control my left side movement. Removing it was Prof. Duffau's last attempt. As he stimulated with electrodes those nerves, my whole left side froze, stubbornly not moving. 

At that point the doctor and I discussed the alternatives, including keeping that piece as a precaution. We agreed to do that.

That was the last surgical act. The results were beyond my expectations. We resected 90% of the tumor without any neurological deficit. There is only one explanation for this: I was in God's hands. Thanks to all of you who prayed and for the medical team who has invested so much of their lives to save people like me. I feel like I was born again. I still have additional treatment (chemo) but this step was as good as possible. I am blessed.

(by Livia from Patrick's own handwriting)

What a Week!

I am now in Montpellier where I met my surgeon, Dr.Duffau, and an anestheseologist, who reviewed my medical history to ensure that I am able to be sedated.

Before I talk about that I want to share how optimistic I am about the procedure, not from a medical stand-point but from all the support I am getting from my family and friends.

This weekend was incredible. It started with a farewell dinner at the office on Friday to send me to France in good spirits. On Saturday, a lunch with dear cousins, my girls and Livia, and dinner with my parents and in-laws at night. Finally a very special event on Sunday. Every year my College friends get together to celebrate the end of another year. This has been happening since we graduated in 1996 and we did it again.

We are a very tight group of friends but this year-end party was special to me. First because I haven't attented it in 5 years, but most importantly because Livia and my friends prepared me an amazing surprise: an album with several pictures, testimonials and love to boost my spirit right before I left, a College coat from our Athletics Association, the source of our friendship. and to top it off a friend brought over 200 wrist-bands with the phrase "Força Patrick", which means "Strenght Patrick". Everyone that attended the party is wearing one today, plus all the family members and friends that we could get these to before I left. What a gift!

In addition to this weekend's events, I received great messages, gifts, amulets (all very meaningful to me and the givers) and two incredible messages from my friends' sons that I wanted to share:
- my friends' 9 year old son asked his teacher if his school could build a chapel for him to pray for his dad's friend. WOW!
- A personal hero, who at only 2 years old went through way more than I am going through now with his mom and dad, asked his mom if I was going to get my hair shaved. He advised me to wear a rainbow wig, those are cool!
I won't let you down, I will get better and will come back with a great rainbow wig!

Now back to Montpellier... What an incredilble city. The people here are extremely friendly, we are feeling really welcome. But the person that impressed me the most was Dr. Duffau. With the extra years of life he has given to so many people and the huge contributions he makes to Neurosurgery, I felt like I was talking to an angel. A calm, peaceful, knowledgeable genius who gave me the confidence that my brain is in the best hands on Earth for God to work his magic.

Trust me, we are doing together everything we can, wish me well, 5 days to go.

I will be hospitalized on Monday, Dec 12, and the surgery begins in the morning of Dec 13.

Merci Beaucoup!

Patrick

Tribute to My People

I wish I could spell-out the names of all the great people I've met in my life, the people that invariably contributed to shape who I am. A lot of them are back, helping me with words of wisdom, support, prayers and positive thinking, keeping my energy at or above my pre-glioma levels.

I got a ride back from work yesterday and my friend said "I don't know how you can remain so calm". I believe that we all need three pillars to keep ourselves together. Below are the three pillars that have helped me before, during and will continue to help me after my glioma so I can always remain centered and positive:

Family - the constant throughout my life, the port I can always sail back to for peace. It got bigger now with wife and the little treasures we had together. My parents, my in-laws, my extended family, always there for me no matter what, with or without glioma. A friend asked me how Livia was dealing with all this. She has always been right by my side, since the first day in the hospital, and even when I was clearly devastated with the news she held tight, giving me strength and "control". But I know this is not easy on her, I can notice her stress getting progressively higher at times, but she continues to hide her anxiety about the future from me and the kids". Thank you so much for always being there for me, even when I lose it in the bad São Paulo traffic, as if she had anything to do with it...
Oh, I have to tell another Isabel story - today I was sitting in the couch showing her how Columbus got to America, how the Portuguese got to Brazil amd how the Brittish got to the US. She suddenly touches my stomach and says "daddy, you are gaining weight, you need to start exercising again" (trust me, I am still a stick, now with guts...). I told her that my commute is too long and my workout time got cut, but that once we move to a house close to work I will be right back. That's when she says "let's go downstairs to play". As soon as we get there she goes "let's jog". She is so intuitive, always reading my mind, like if she realized how much I like to run...

Friends -  I will break this one in two categories...
School and "life" friends - I have seen them sporadically, some more than others, throughout the last 20 years and they always amaze to show me how long friendships can last, how little we change and how wiser we become as we get "experienced" (OK, maybe I am stretching on this one...)
Work friends - Yesterday was my last pre-surgery day at work, and I could not stop thinking about how fortunate I am to be surrounded by people that are unconditionally supportive. Most of the people I have been working with in Brazil know me for less than one year, but it surely feels like a lot more. In contrast my former US co-workers continue to make me feel like I've never left. Not to mention friends from my first jobs, who have magically come back to my life to give me strength.

Good people of the world - every once in a while I am blessed with random acts of kindness, nice words to wish me well from people I've never met.

Thank you all for sticking with me. I am very grateful for having such an awesome circle of people.

Well, in two days I head to France. Wish me well, the first thing I will do after surgery will be to post my status (as long as I remember my password...). Joking about this has been a way to keep it in perspective. This is not the end of the world, it is a whole new beginning!

I love you all!