Message to my Friends and Family

I cannot thank you enough for all the support, messages, shared stories and the simple fact that you felt comfortable to send a message to me at a difficult moment. I know it can be uncomfortable to reach out in times like this, but rest assured that every note was precious and brought a smile to my face. I know tumors carry a stigma but so far I am incredibly comfortable with what is happening, this is already proving to be a positive experience. Friends that I have not heard from in years reached out, I feel closer than ever to my family and I am really focused and enjoying work. The support I am receiving from every walk of life is unbelievable, I wish everyone could experience the positivity and support I am getting, wonder why it takes something like this for us to share how much we like each other. I encourage you all to send an uncalled message to someone you love to share your appreciation. Finally, no updates on the glioma front, I decided to wait 45 days for another MRI, believe or not I talked to 6 neuro surgeons and 3 recommended surgery and 3 thought it was better to monitor and see how things evolve, and possibly do a biopsy if it gets worse. Since this tumor grows very slowly I decided to wait before I go for surgery. Like my friend said good thing I have an open mind. I know a lot of you are uncomfortable but don't feel so, feel free to ask questions, send emails or simply say that you were thinking about me, every positive thought feeds me with more energy and resolve to beat this and stay around all of you for many years. God bless you.

Moving On

On July 20th I went back to work. It felt so good to get back with life. I had a doctor visit in the afternoon (another pro-surgery opinion) and went back home. Ran 5k very slowly, most doctors told me to take it easy on exercising. This might be the first order I will not follow.
Worked all day the following 2 days, and on Friday afternoon I received the best news - it is OK to exercise as long as someone is with me in case something happens. The funniest thing was to receive calls from my wife and dad asking me to take it easy at work - I always said that working never killed anybody, and I am not about to be the first one. Working really made me feel great. And getting back home to my daughters after a good day was the perfect way to finish, life is good.
Two weeks after my seizure I have to share that I feel like I am totally back on track. The prayers, positive thoughts, messages, support and love I've experienced in the last two weeks reassured me that no matter what happens I am the luckiest man in the world and I will do my best to bring smiles to everyone around me.

Treatment Options

Very quickly I became acquainted with the best Brazilian neuro-surgeons. Once again I could not stop thinking about how lucky I was to be in Brazil when this happened. The doctors I talked to were incredibly accomodating, despite their incredible credentials, and seemed very comfortable with the fact that I was talking and looking for several different opinions. A lot of doctors looked at my case without even meeting me in person. I've also been simultaneously reading every glioma medical scientific paper available on the Internet to learn more about my options. Surgery is definitely at the top of the list but we are still not 100% sure - gliomas are interesting because you really need to get the diagnostic right. Treat a grade 2 glioma as a grade 3 and you lose firepower for when the glioma really turns into grade 3. Treat a grade 3 glioma like a grade 2 and you might have lost a chance to catch it when it's small.
What I know for sure is that I can't remove the whole glioma, at the risk of losing movement on the left side. But I know that removing a large piece of it gives oncologists the best insights for chemo and radiotherapy. I may decide next week what to do (biopsy, surgery or wait and see).

Turning a Negative into a Positive

I got up on July 15 and the first thing that occured to me was thank God I am alive. I was never so determined to make the best out of the time I had left on Earth. After all, with or without a tumor, no one knows how long one will live, so why would I have a different attitude just because I had a tumor? I started looking for inspiration on the Internet from people that live with glioma. Found people in every corner of the world living a healthy, inspiring life, years after being diagnosed. The Astro Fund website (http://www.astrofund.org.uk/) was a particularly helpful source of inspiration, with several great examples of people that live a great life with glioma. The Liz Army blog was also very inspiring, amazing how people I have never heard of became my instant heroes (thelizarmy.blogspot.com).
I was determined to live my life and enjoy every minute of it. At the same time I knew I had to find out more about insular glioma to determine my best treatment options.

Assimilating the News

As people found out about my condition help started coming. Doctor recommendations, support from work, friends visiting, but the thing that really comforted me was knowing that I had a family standing by me. Ironically after living in the US for 10 years I had been back in Brazil for only 2 weeks - really made me pretty certain that there is a very good reason for this to be happening, the chain of events was just too perfect given the condition.
In any case I had a hard time thinking about the future, and every time I thought about my family, particulalry my wife, daughters, mom and dad I would start crying like a baby. I knew I could not live like this. When I got back from the hospital and saw my daughters for the first time after the diagose I cried profusely. They asked me what was wrong and I said that my tear box was full and after a week without seeing them I just missed them too much. I promised my daughter that once I emptied my tear box I would not cry again.

The Diagnostic

I was sent to the ICU with suspicion of bacterial or viral brain infection. Liquor was taken from my back to evaluate my prognostic but I was warned that if exams came back clean most likely I had a brain tumor. I don't think I've ever wished so hard to have a viral or bacterial infection. Spent 2 nights at the ICU and became good friends with the nurses, talking about everything, from basketball to kids, motorcycles and soccer. I only had one hour a day to be visited, so the hospital crew was really important to keep my mind busy. After 2 days the diagnose was ready - low grade insular glioma with 2 suspicious spots that might be turning into a grade 3 - and this means we need surgery.

Nothing prepares a 37 year-old for this kind of news - I went from thinking I was imortal to believing I was on my death bed.

The Beginning

On July 9th 2011 I was at the airport on my way to Pittsburgh when I started feeling numbness on my hands and feet, and lost control of my breathing pace (I thought I was having a heart attack). I got up to wash my face, last thing I remember - I woke up in the Airport Ambulance, found out I had a seizure and was on my way to the Hospital (Hospital Geral de Guarulhos).
Had a taste of what people without means go through to get healthcare in Brazil, and what unknown heroes (nurses, doctors and others) go through to try to help significantly more people than what a Hospital of that size can support. Everybody did their best to help me, I felt really calm there, but I seemed to be the only one comfortable in there. After a few hours (around 3 AM) the doctor finally showed up and shared the results of a brain tomography. He recommended that we immediately go to another hospital to get an MRI - he suspected I had something in my brain.